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| Photo: Google |
I’ve not always had things go my way, right from the time I
was born. Things have always been very difficult; I was never a “lucky” person.
I always struggled for everything; to be loved, make sure I do things
excellently…It’s a cycle! My siblings on the other hand, though they work
really had, they are always very lucky; at least they are sure of working hard
and seeing results. I on the other hand, even after working hard, nothing
(positive result) is guaranteed. I won’t say I’m cursed but life has been pretty
tough for me.
My parents separated at the age of three and my dad took me
to his new home and new wife. As the last child, I wasn’t close to my brothers
and sisters but they looked after me. I was neither a mum nor dad’s favorite, I
was just there; a little girl that imagined things and hoped her parents would
get back together. I didn’t know why my parents were separating at that age but
then I would tell people my own version of the story and my dad would get
upset, lol. Anyways, the truth is, I have worked so hard for everything (and by
the help of God Grace) that most of the time it doesn’t work out and other
times it takes a really long time (almost at the point of giving up) to achieve
it.
My university days, was not so hard cause I tried to avoid
lecturers asking me out so they couldn’t fail me. Though I would have loved to
put more effort in my studies (this would have provided me with scholarships
that I would probably have not been in this country by now) than on my first
love (there was a lot of drama there). I
didn’t even tell people my real name (my certificate has my real name) in
school and it’s possible that is what got me through it. I have worked with
three (3) companies since I graduated from the university; I never imagined
working in these places but the situation of our country led me to them.
The first job was owned by a Hausa man, it was an airline,
and I worked as a ticketing officer, it was located in Port-Harcourt. So I
traveled all the way from Lagos to port-Harcourt, their HR came from Lagos as
well to conduct an interview. I started the job and within a month to the job,
the Managing Director was asking me out to the point that he delayed salary
just to frustrate me. I was squatting with a friend I met during my NYSC
(National Youth Service Corps) days, hoping after three month I would have been
able to get my own place. The MD kept telling staffs that our aircraft is on
maintenance and our salaries are pending ,that we should be patient –enough
time for me to give in (well, that’s what he hoped). Until I decided to write a
letter, saying since our aircraft is on maintenance, we have not been in
operations and I have not been paid for months, coming all the way from Lagos,
I should take two weeks leave until things normalize (but I knew I was never
going back). Two weeks after I got home in Lagos, they paid me.
The second Job was owned by an Indian and managed by a
Yoruba man. After spending three frustrating years in that organization;
terrible salary, crazy work hours and oppression from the management, the MD
decided to ask me out (not directly but we know these things). Anyways, I (and
a male staff) was laid off for the “recession” in Nigeria; meanwhile a junior
staff I recruited was ‘is’ still there.
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| Photo:Google |
The third job was as a marketing officer; after the
interview, the MD is based in Benin but decided to meet the new staffs after a
month and the minute he set his eyes on me, he harassment began immediately.
Despite my first time as a marketer but took the offer because I needed a new
apartment (first apartment) due to family pressure. The story of my job days are so long I
decided to summarize it here since that
is not what I would like to write about why I ‘m currently unemployed.
The truth is, I have never really had a career job. I have
always jumped from one job to another because it’s available, I don’t want to
be less busy, I need money for bills and my personal well-being since I don’t have
anyone looking or taking care of me. So I started with the reason for jumping
from one job to the other because they all have one thing in common; being
sexually harassed. Did I also mention that they were all private companies? So
you see why they could get away with harassing you and telling you to leave if
you refused without anyone questioning them. The last one was so bad; they
didn’t even pay me (and three male colleagues) off…Oh what a life!
Ok so let’s get to why I am currently unemployed shall we? I
know you might be wondering how I look like to be harassed this much – it’s
very common here ‘Nigeria’ and most girls give in and cause drama in the
organization until they are fired while some refuse and get laid off one way or
the other, especially in private organizations (mostly run by family and friends
while frustrating strangers with hectic work hours and harassments). And about
my looks, I’m above presentable (that’s all you can know now)…Therefore, I am
currently unemployed because I’m;
Too cute to be
unnoticed
I’m not bragging but people notice me even without me making
an effort. No matter how I try to tone it down or hide myself, people notice.
And i always do my job really well that they could not use that as a yardstick
to fire me. So this useless men try to invite me on dates and I politely
decline ,they keep trying until they somehow feel insulted that I don’t accept
their offer and look for ways (firing someone else as well) to get rid of me so
it won’t look like it was personal.
Too good to settle
I’m not the most righteous but I know my right from wrong.
And I like to be praised for my work and not for any other ‘dirty’ means. Did I
also mention that these men are married? Even if they were single, I can’t date
anyone from the same company.
Keep taking the wrong
jobs
Those jobs were not just for me. I took the first one
because I wanted to have experience, the second one after I stayed at home for a
year without money and I needed money. The third one because I wanted to be
able to pay for my new place (first place actually, I never lived alone). They
were not my dream jobs but they were available at the time and I was desperate.
A people “family’” pleaser
I like pleasing people a lot and this have really limited me
in so many ways and delayed me from where I need to be. There was a time I was really interest in
Nollywood (acting, script writing and co) but the money was slow and in a way I
felt like I was disappointing my family and not being reasonable. Every other
person (well except my sister that wasn’t working at the time) contributed in
the house and I wanted to be able to as well. So, I had to forgo my dream of
being a film maker so I can be able to pay bills and make my family proud.
I am currently unemployed because I just don’t want to take any job (though, jobs are very
difficult to come by in this county) like I did in the past and I believe I am meant for something greater
and should be more focus on my career path that just making money. I have
decided not to settle for less;
getting another private small job, doing my best as usual but then being so
damn cute that these men can’t resist, hence the cycle all over again - don’t
think I can endure such trauma again. Trust me; it’s an emotional roller
coaster! It makes you question yourself, sometimes you lose yourself in the
process. I won’t tell you it’s not easy being without having money. You have
anxiety, sleepless nights, bothered about what your neighbors are thinking,
nothing motivates you, you wish you were invincible, you consider doing the
wrong things when it’s not who you are. Therefore, I have decided to work on my
craft and apply for jobs that would take me closer to my goals and career,
hoping not to make the same mistakes
ever again and eventually landing my dream job (remember, not everyone must
be self-employed) or being a successful entrepreneur in the process.
So I would like to ask you: Are you currently unemployed by
choice or circumstance? Have you been laid off a lot? What did you learn from
the experience? If you have started working again, what are you doing
differently? And if you are not, what are you plans now or what do you hope
for?
I'm currently unemployed. Just got let off by my last boss a week ago. He's a good acquaintance outside of work. I've been fired from every job for being too slow. I was fired from this job for blacking out too much. (My body wont allow me to operate in the mornings, no matter what I do.)
ReplyDeleteHere's my story:
I was born two and a half months early, addicted to meth. Never knew my real parents. My mom and dad split when I was young, and my mom took me in. She married someone new. He and his kid beat the shit outta me a lot when I was young. It only stopped when I decked my dad in the face during high school. He's still a dick verbally, though. Mom's on her third round of cancer and probably gunna die pretty soon. I moved out last summer with a friend when he came back from the Navy (Two years he despised), and I haven't been employed since. Never had a girlfriend (not planning on having a boyfriend). My family problems have led me to become extremely attached to a few girls in my life, but I made mistakes due to not understanding anxiety. I had a falling out with each person I've fallen for and they've never tried to fix the problems with me after we've had time to think of what happened.
This kicked me into writing poetry during high school the first time I got depressed.
My current plans are to
1.) actually finish a damned novel for once. (Always lose motivation, because I don't feel good enough - a problem that stems from my father and the three girls I've cared for.)
2.) Keep at writing poetry, because I was told by my college professor to make it a life-long thing after I read it aloud.
3.) Start a band up with my friends, because I've written solid lyrics that I get stuck in my head. //Need to practice singing, though. I'm getting the hang of screaming lyrics, though.