The Rich Guy (Cont’d)I went home that night thinking, how did I meet such a rich and stable guy; the truth is ,apart from my university boyfriend (well, there’s not much expectation there),the guys I have been dating have been either broke and just entering the labor force or are already working but still living with their parents. No one had a stable job, a fenced duplex …just very comfortable. This Hausa guy had money and was not afraid to flaunt it (when are they ever) and somehow, he felt that should be enough to make me interested in him but it wasn’t. Spending time with him was really boring, you would think someone with that much money would be interesting; you know sweep me off my feet. And no, I’m not all about money, like I said earlier, I have dated guys that had nothing ‘financially’ but I enjoyed their company and we just get along really well.
I have always imagined being in a relationship where i get to do whatever I want, wherever i want and that money shouldn’t be a factor. So meeting someone that had that and not being able to connect was just disappointing. There was no chemistry, nothing in common really… The first time we met, I was waiting for a bus to go home and he drove past me and pulled over a little further; I thought he was trying to give me a ride, it seemed that way or was he? Hmm, I guess I’ll never know. Anyways, I walked towards his car and he went to the front to check if he hit a pigeon (I know right?! So nice of him) and we said hi, the next minute I was on his passenger seat. So I asked why he pulled over and what he was looking for, he told me he was checking if he hit a pigeon and my heart just melted. I had no idea what part of the country he was cause he looked quite sophisticated and focused but when I heard his accent, I knew he was from the north. I was a crushed (okay, I am also not tribalistic, I just don’t like the fact that they ‘Northerners’ can marry as many wives as they want and I don’t want to be a number something wife, so…) cause I was hoping he was a potential boyfriend, lol.
Though he wasn’t a potential boyfriend, he was rich and connected. I hated my job, was underpaid and I needed the help I could get. Don’t get me wrong, I tried to give it a chance but there was no connection. Besides he had a fiancée, he was not innocent as well. Oh wait! I didn’t tell you how the evening ended; his house was big, nice kitchen, well-furnished living room and three rooms upstairs where he used one for his office, very neat and spacious bathroom…in a nut shell, he had great taste. Okay so, after he prepared his chicken jollof rice (rice porridge) mixed with lettuce and other salad stuff (uh yuck!), as we ate I wanted to tune in to E! news (did I mention I love entertainment news? alright!), he sort of condemned it and insisted we watch a movie channel which was okay but I really don’t like when I visit a guy for the first time and he doesn’t allow me to watch any channel, I mean; I’m only here for few hours ,I don’t intend to sleep there, geez! We quietly watched the action movie (yeah, can you imagine?),I don’t know if he was expecting me to sleep over but he acted like it. After a while, I started giving hints that I have to go and he was like ‘okay’. So he opened his arms wide for a hug which I think is what most of these men in their forties do, like I’m I supposed to feel something from the hug (my heart is not made of stone but I’m sure you know what I mean). As we hugged and I tried to pull back, he leaned in for a kiss with his tongue – ugh! Why do they do that? And I mean Africa men, well most Nigerian men since that’s where I’m experienced.
I don’t know about you ladies but I love to be lured into a kiss and your tongue does not do that for me. i mean; we know about French kissing which is great when you are really into the kiss you know? But you don’t have to begin with a tongue, let me feel your lips first before you try to choke me. Anyways, I just stood there as he poked his tongue between my teeth and I opened my mouth for like 10 seconds and thankfully it was over. So he drove me to his estate gate and gave me ten thousand naira. I got a cab, in the cab I thought about the kiss and felt this irk. Well, the kiss was a deal breaker for me but I wasn’t ready to let him go cause hey! I was getting a few bucks from him while I was on my leave (did I mention I wasn’t given leave allowance) and I hoped he could help me with a job.
Dating him was not an option and I think he sensed I wasn’t into him (even if I was, I don’t sleep in a guy’s house that I’m not in a relationship with) cause most girls would sleep over after seeing that house. Anyhow, I still wanted to be his friend, so I called him to check on him and he invited me to his office. I got there, he offered coffee but I wasn’t interested, we discussed and he talked about his business and that he would be travelling to meet his fiancée soon. Well, after I left that day I knew I probably won’t be seeing him again since the job thing for me was not working (he kept telling me stories) and lied about being transferred to the north, lol. I knew it was a way for him to just not see me anymore; I wasn’t planning on having sex with him since I kind of revealed to him that I don’t enjoy sex. I tried his number after he got back from Dubai but he barred (what an as#h@le right?) my calls and that was it. Few months after I saw him drive passed me; I just shook my head and laughed ‘transfer indeed’.
Most times I wonder what men think women want and yes from my little examples, I doubt they ‘men’ were interested in what I want but what they wanted. The truth is as women, we just want a guy that is real, a man that knows what he wants and is not afraid to go for it; going for it the right way, we want to see genuine love and care. I also believe if you really love someone you would do right by her, you’ll be patient and not be in a hurry to jump into her pants. As women, we want a man that don’t just want us but wants to understand us and share his life with us (It’s not about your money or your body, it’s really about your heart),I’m speaking of lasting love not just a hook up or whatever). A man that is not intimidated by us or expects us to be a certain way, respects us and allow us be who we want to be and still love us anyways.
click here for PART 2 and PART 1