The next semesterwas approaching; my boyfriend and I were already planning to meet before resumption. We missed each other so much we could not wait to see each other. We finally met and had all kinds of sex, surprisingly it wasn’t bad, maybe it was cause I missed him so much or I was finally getting used to his manhood, I don’t know, lol…but it was good.
While I was at home, his former best friend contacted me but I ignored his call, he even sent a message that he was sorry about what happened ,he said; “please forgive me, I didn’t mean to cause you trouble, I really need to see you, I miss you. Please lets be friends again”… something of that nature. Since his girlfriend was upset with me and thought I was the enemy, I decided to leave the message on my phone so I could show it to her when I see her and I did. He told her his own version but she didn’t hear mine but she was matured enough to listen when I told her we needed to talk and we were good (she stayed with him still).
Our relationship (my boyfriend and i) became more sexual and there wasn’t much communication anymore. He lied to me a lot and womanized. Yes he loved me but after that issue with his best friend, he stopped trusting me but stayed with me anyways (well until I gave him my virginity). It was like after we had sex, it was all we were doing…and each time we have a misunderstanding or a male friend call me he would bring up that incident. I lived with him in my third year first semester (big mistake – I was surprised I didn’t get pregnant cause most times we had unprotected sex due to the pain I felt from condoms), that was when I realized how girls would come to visit but could not since I was around and how friendly he was with his female neighbors. I wanted to be enough for him but I wasn’t; he would go out and come back late, I would yell and flip when I see him getting too close to a girl. He would save girls names as guys and used the fact that I’m an introvert as an excuse not to take me out or where he was going to.
My friends would tell me they see him with one girl or the other, how he clubs, drinks and smokes that I was beginning to wonder if I knew who I was dating. One afternoon he got a call from a girl; most times he goes outside or to the bathroom to receive the call. And I asked who called him, he said it was his course rep that he needs to go to the campus, I knew he was lying. So he dropped his phone and I asked for his phone, he became defensive and gave me for a brief second but I was able to cram the number. So as he left to fetch water, I called the number and a female voice spoke. So I pretended like he asked me to call her and she stupidly said;” please tell him to hurry, I’m waiting” and I asked where she was and she said in the campus” then i hung up. I didn’t know what there arrangement was about…innocent or not, why did he lie? It’s things like that, that triggers me, I dislike dishonesty; when someone lies to me, it makes me feel stupid. I confronted him about it and he tried to lie, I told him I called the number and he became defensive as usual. Saying she is a friend from home and she needed help with her exams…I wasn’t pissed that a girl called him, I was pissed that he told me it as his course rep (he is a guy btw). We argued as usual, sometimes our argument led to hitting each other…it was really intense.
I was becoming emotionally drained in the relationship; I wasn’t concentrating in school because I was always monitoring who he is with or what he was up to. I even had a pregnancy scare at some point, my grades that semester was really poor. Guys were interested in me but I wasn’t interested in them, I just want my boyfriend. I was seeing a future with us in it; as a kid I had always said the man that would dis-virgin “or take my flower, lol” would be my husband. I thought that was what would happen with us. We would have four kids, living in his home town, have a dog and live happily ever after but that was just in my head. He was young and just wanted to have fun (I was young too; I just had an old soul). Maybe he truly loved me but I ruined it when I kissed his friend…at least that’s what I kept telling myself.
There was this cute guy I met in my year one, he was tall and more handsome than my boyfriend but I wasn’t interested in him because I had a boyfriend. He told me he was interested in me but he had a girlfriend as well (he was a player too). So it was my third year and I went for my Industrial training (IT), since my relationship was a distant one, I was really scared of losing it so I would call my boyfriend every day. I didn’t know the rules; he was my first, I had no one to advise me, I was doing everything wrong -he was supposed to be the one always reaching out and not just me.
During my IT, I met someone; he was older, short but had a handsome face, really intelligent too. We worked in the lab, he taught me a lot, I could tell he really liked me. He was ready for marriage but I wasn’t and was crazy in love with my boyfriend so it was impossible to consider it. Most times my boyfriend won’t pick his call or bother getting back to me, only to tell me when I call back that he wasn’t close to his phone and make me feel like I was paranoid. I felt so insecure in the relationship and cried most of the time.
Still in the time of my IT, that player cute guy I met in my year one was also doing his IT in Lagos (he is based in Abuja), so he invited me to see him. Since I had nothing doing, it was a Saturday, I paid him a visit. It was his uncle’s house but he was not around. So he offered me something to drink and put the TV on, we chatted a little …Normally I wouldn’t visit a guy but I wanted to blow off some steam and he was also a good friend, well… until he tried to kiss me. I told him I couldn’t that I have a boyfriend; he said he has a girlfriend too but he is really into me and can end his relationship just to be with me. I told him I don’t want to end my relationship and he put things in my head – things like my boyfriend cheating since I was far away. And that was all I could thing about on my way home and for the rest of the semester. But I told myself there was nothing I could do; I could either keep bothering myself or just believe that he wasn’t doing anything stupid.