At Sixteen, I was done with secondary school, preparing to write my jamb. I fantasized about being a singer and I would tell my friends to join me so we could form a group like Destiny’s child. I also enjoyed writing my feelings and tried writing songs as well even though I didn’t know what’s was doing.
With all these I was facing drama from my step mother; though I had no idea what the real world was like, I was facing a little of my own at home. Finally, I got an admission, left the house and for the first time in a long time (since I was three), I felt free and thought life would be better outside but I was wrong.
I thought I could just make a wish and it would come through, I could decide to be a musician and would find myself on stage… Hell, I could fly if I wanted to… But that’s not how the world works.
The truth is, I have been through a lot that I ask myself when it’s all going to be over: when my great dreams (seem I’ve been having a lot of the bad) will finally come to pass. Sometimes where we find ourselves is as a result of our choices and mistakes: whether from our childhood or we developed a new lifestyle. We might want to blame our parents for who we are today but the truth is we play a major part on how we turn out in life. We just have to choose to do right, work hard, eat right etc…Especially when we reach a certain age, it’s now up to us.
This is not a post about regret since I’m grateful for every experience; it taught me how to be strong, it made me to be more discipline, to keep fighting for what I want and never give up. But if I could time travel this is what I would tell my younger self.
Listen to your instincts
Trust me, no one can make you happy or become who you really are but you. Therefore you should listen to your heart at all times: what is good for you, who you are and where you are going. Don’t let anyone decide that for you, otherwise you would just be living for that person and that is not a way live.
There will be time for love
As long as we are living, we would definitely meet our partners (the one God has ordained for us), there is no need rushing to have that. If your heart is telling you this guy is not really into you why waste your time with him? Or chase after boys that are just looking for some quick action and brag about it to their friends. Dating is normal but don’t rush to be in a relationship that your heart is telling you would not work out…you have your life ahead of you and would meet a lot of cute guys (the handsome ones are not yet born – not cougar intentions though).
Exercise or be more active
Ugh, if I could meet my 16-year-old self, I would tell her to exercise; i never intentionally exercised as a child just normal play time with friend’s that involved a little bit of sports. I would tell her to be more active, engage in school or street sports and not sleep so much. It’s affecting my knees now and I’m just in my early thirties.
Be committed and consistent
Whatever you feel you love and would be great at, give it you all. Be consistent, practice every day… whatever it is, just keep at it, you will learn a lot and it could make you rich someday.
Do not fear anyone but God
Yes we are all humans and if we are scared of nothing then we are probably not living. Here’s what you should fear ‘God’, every other thing, with him, you shall overcome. Fear is good but don’t let it take over you, let it motivate and challenge you.
Appreciate your parents
Though my dad and mum were separated when I was younger and my dad moved on with another woman, I never stopped wanting his love and attention. Though he wasn’t perfect I wish I appreciated him more before he died but thankful I get to make up for it with my mum. For those of you that have both parents, you cannot have another parent, they are all you’ve got and everything they do is for your own good. Listen to them, they have been in the world long before you arrived and they are still here, you can learn from them.
Learn to talk when necessary
This I wish someone told me as a baby. Oh I talk a lot and not for my own good, lol. It got me in trouble so many times… Guess I learnt the hard way.
PS: Always stick out for yourself and stop trying to defend people that would turn on you every second they get.
Have friends but don’t get attached
It’s great to have friends to talk to, hang out with, you know …do stuff together; someone that is always there for you and has your back. But what I discovered is that people are friends with you for a reason. I’m this kind of person that loved attention which involved having company; watching Waiting to Exhale, Girlfriends ,Sex and the City, Set it off (those girl power movies) -that I always wanted to have girlfriend’s like that. People that you grow old with and your kids and theirs become friends but most times it doesn’t happen that way. Friends come and go, they were in your life for a purpose, embrace it, be grateful, learn from them and move on (that if it doesn’t work out). Cause the minute you get attached to someone, you have all these expectations and being that they are just mere mortals, they will hurt you and you’d be disappointed.
There is time for everything, use yours wisely
I’m sure we all know that saying. Time waits for no one. There is time to work, play, pray, hang out with friends, study, spend time with yourself. Don’t use time you were supposed to use for studying to hang out with friends or boyfriend, learn to say no (politely) and do what is right for you. If not you would hate yourself for not doing want you intended to do before you got distracted.
Love yourself, stop wasting time pleasing people
Learn to appreciate yourself, always put yourself first. I know it may seem like I’m sounding selfish but trust me, my whole life have been about pleasing people and it caused me the life I am living now – watch them progress and move on with their lives while I’m stuck. Though I have decided to pick myself up and put myself first; it was hard breaking out of this but I’m getting there.
Whatever you want to do, do it!
Just like Nike motto –Just Do it! Don’t procrastinate! When you set your mind to do something, let it be the first thing you do. Don’t put it aside and distract yourself with something else cause at the end of the day you won’t get it done and it becomes a pattern.
Take life easy
I don’t mean you should be lazy, I just mean life is not so serious. When you know you are doing you best and it’s not working out or probably hurting people in the process to achieve something is not just worth it. Arguing blindly – things that are not worth talking about, you spend your whole day arguing about, is a waste of time. As you work hard, give yourself a break so you can regain your momentum: Rome was no built in a day. So take it easy, step by step: when you try to do or be too many things at the same time you lose yourself in the process. Remember, Jack of all trade, master of none.