How are you all doing? Hope great. I’m fine thank you for asking. So I know it’s been a while you
heard from me,well I’ve been busy with moving with my family ,work, mum feeling sick,Easter ….
It’s been a year guys…And you know what? Though I’ve been really stressed, I like that I’ve been
very busy:you know, not worry about not being in a relationship and all that crap (yeah I call it crap
cause dating is hard and Nigerian men don’t make it easy).
The strange thing is, while I was pursuing money and getting really busy, somehow I’ve managed to
be social – well not entirely, I’m quite the introvert but I met a new friend. I know you are wondering
oh just one friend?! Trust me making friends is not the problem, it’s making genuine friends…So yeah,
it’s a big deal for me.
Anyways, I met this friend while I was house hunting (she is a lady, in case you are wondering),half
Ghanaian, half Ibo. She was really friendly and just nice, like I can’t remember the last time I
connected with someone since 2005. The house we were supposed to take was below her apartment,
due to some shenanigans with the landlord(oh no, landlord’s brother) and agent, it did not work out
but then I made a friend. The first meeting was in the building,i was inquiring about the apartment
and the second was in a bus on my way to work on the island. I recognized her and said hello, we
talked like we’ve known each other for a really long time and it began from there. Since then, we have
been going to work together (her mum drops us at the bus stop), planning work out sessions – I really
don’t know when I would make time for that…she is already tired of trying to convince me, lol.
So far , it’s been good .
I also finally met my male friend from twitter ,we have met for like three to four times (mostly at my
work, since all I do is work,lol),the fourth time was during Easter Monday, we went to a conservation
center at Lekki, it was adventurous and fun (even had canopy walk,met some monkeys and fishes)…
it was another fun in a really long time. After few hours we went to his apartment he shares with two
other ladies, made noodles, talked a little and shared a kissed. It was nice but I wasn’t in the romance
mood so we stopped: somehow I think we both know we won’t get married, we are better off as friends.
i’ll probably explain this later but in a nutshell, I think we both felt awkward afterwards since we have
not seen since then; he has been busy and I’m not even bothered. We still communicate once in a while
Just last weekend, I met someone on my way to church, I had not been in church for three weeks (was
down with malaria and my aunt of the month came after ) so I made sure I attended this time. Walking
to church on my street, someone was walking really fast behind me,i was also walking fast as well until
he approached me. This tall dark slender handsome looking man and he asked “Hello, do you know
where a Catholic Church is around here? “ I have been to the parish but it’s quite far, I was told there is
an outstation close by “. And I smiled a little and said:”yeah that’s where I’m going “. As we walked
down,i asked if he is new in the estate, he said a few months. And I asked how he found the estate, he
We got to church and usually, I like to sit at the extreme end but I felt since I was with someone, it
would be awkward if we walk in just to sit separately. He also stretched his hand where he wanted to
sit, like he was inviting me to sit next to him.We didn’t say a word to each other and I kept admiring
him from my side eye. It’s funny cause, I had a dream about maybe (I said maybe cause I mean, who
knows… ) my future husband, but I couldn’t see his face ; in the dream we were seated by the bed, I
was holding our baby (who was really fair skinned by the way) but in this particular dream, I was
watching myself from behind but also felt my baby in my arms… I don’t know if that makes sense.
Anyways, I didn’t see his face but I saw the back head, he looked dark, tall and slender. Since that
dream have been looking out for that back head, lol. After a while I gave up cause It just felt ridiculous
until I saw this guy and guess what? He has that back head, tall, dark and slender *sigh*.
We didn’t say a word in church until during Thanksgiving and I asked of his parents ( yeah, while on
our walk, I asked if he stayed with his family,he said he stays alone *wink*) .He said he lost his dad
really young and his mum passed away last year after a failed brain surgery. I felt really sad for him,
I also told him my dad is late, that it’s just my mum now. If felt really nice that this person could talk
about something so personal to someone he just met (though I have that effect on people). It made me
feel really comfortable and safe with him and I started thinking so many things at once ;first I checked
the head,lol…asked where he is from after he asked me; we are both from the same state. After church,
I stopped by the supermarket to get something, he waited for me then walked home afterwards (we
live close by). I began to ask myself, “is he the one”? I know I do that a lot but this was different and
I’ve not done this in a really long time. As we approached the junction that separates our building, he
asked for my number, I gladly gave it to him,he buzzed me with it and went home.
I have not really liked Someone like this in a really long time, I felt this kinda excitement I could not
explain :dancing when there is no music kinda happy. It was nice… but the negative part of my self
began; that part that makes me feel like happiness doesn’t last, that this wasn’t happening. I began to
ask myself, what if he has a girlfriend (hell, there is no way this guy doesn’t have a girlfriend, a fiancee
even), maybe he was just being friendly? Is he into me? He could have asked anyone for directions,
why me? To be fair, the road was really quiet while we walked and I looked like I was going to church.
So maybe he just really needed help-he did mention someone mistakenly directing him to an Anglican
church and he was with his friend (did he mean his girlfriend?), he also said there comes a time in a
person’s life where you keep less friends… is he ready to settle down with his friend /girlfriend?
These were the things going through my head and I just told myself to relax and just let things flow.
We met on Sunday, , the next day was a Monday, I didn’t hear from him,i started believing my
assumptions and later I just said he is probably busy. As a software engineer for a security company,
you require focus. Let me see how Tuesday will be,didn’t hear from him still so I decided to buzz him
on WhatsApp I said :Hello, how are you and work. He replied after five to seven minutes ,that was
one very long minute. He said hello “my name”,I’m fine and work is great, you?” I replied same.
To be honest, I was dreading contacting him first cause most African guys can be quite backwards and
feel they should always make the move and not the lady but I couldn’t help myself, I just wanted to be
in touch. We don’t have to be romantic, since we are neighbors we could just be friends.
As he wasn’t really communicating, I assumed he was busy and since I initiated the conversation, I also
ended it. I said ; just wanted to say hey and he replied ;” thanks a million, much appreciated “ And I
said have a great day and he said “thanks, you too, enjoy your day”.After that day, I decided not to
contact him unless he contacts me and so far he has not. I’m I disappointed?yeah,I am. Did I screw it up
by contacting first,i don’t know.. But I thought we had a connection, maybe I was wrong. Maybe I’m
just good at people opening up to me, maybe he was just being friendly and doesn’t need more friends
or maybe he is in a serious relationship and just only needed directions to the Catholic Church
outstation. Who knows…
I was probably feeling lonely and thought finally, God has sent me the one. You won’t believe since
I said hey I’ve not heard from him. Another Sunday just passed and not even a text saying “hey didn’t
see you in church today” (yeah, I attended another parish). At least he showed me who he is so I
wouldn’t get any ideas. You are probably wondering,it’s just been a week …but what is the point of
collecting someone number and not calling or at least texting? It makes no sense to me. I just don’t give
anybody my number. If we had a connection and I would like to hear from you again, I’ll give you my
number . Who goes around asking people for numbers, just not to call them? Maybe he was just being
nice by asking, probably saw the desperation in me (I highly doubt I was) and felt it would be rude
not to ask. But guess what, that is total bullshit! It is indeed very rude to ask for one’s number and not
call,period! It would have been nicer if you didn’t ask at all. I would have told myself, we probably
didn’t connect as I thought and forgotten about your arrogant a#$.
Sorry guys but I just have to vent,like what will be a blog without venting? I’m kidding, of course we
share the good stuff and obviously learn from every experience. The lesson here is not to expect
anything from anyone, if you feel lonely, address it and do something that makes you happy. You
could call a friend you can always talk to and doesn’t judge to vent, trust me you will feel better in the
morning. Loneliness is not forever, as long as you plan to have a family some day, there is always
someone for everyone,just be patient.
Thank you for reading, until next time…Have a great day.