Love is a very beautiful thing and it could lead to happily ever after or it could lead to something disastrous.
There is indeed a thin line between love and hate.
But should that stop us from loving anyways? It never does and we shouldn’t try to. Just like a One Tree Hill quote;
“And if you’re lucky, if you’re the luckiest person on this entire planet, the person you love decides to love you back.”
So why do we want to get over someone we love or used to love? They broke our hearts (maybe not intentionally),we changed and they didn’t…Whatever it is, we just want to forget about them and act like it never happened.
Sorry to burst your bubble but you can’t forget someone you love or used to love,they are part of you now. You can only move on.
Does it take time? Yes. Will you find love again, Yes. Is there a time frame to get over someone? No (won’t that be great though?) .
I don’t know where I read or heard this but it says it takes half the time of the relationship timeline to get over someone. For example, if you dated for four years, it takes two years to move on – that’s just hogwash!
I don’t believe that. I dated my university boyfriend for almost five years and it took me twice-the-year to move on and not even completely because I still see him in my dreams.
He is married and have a kid now. He married ten years after we broke up and i cried on his wedding month.
So, i’ll just tell you, you can’t get over someone you love cause if you do then it wasn’t love in the first place. You can only move on, carry the memories with you -smiling at the good and learning from the bad.
So instead of how do you get over someone you love, you should try to move on from someone you love.
How do you move on?
You can move to another city
It might seem like you are running away but that is not it. Now this depends on if you got a job in another city or you just take some months away from your city.
Just try to leave that state for some months. Changing environment and meeting new people will take your mind off the breakup and it will make you realise that there is more to see and learn outside your city .
Keep their photos away or out of sight
Yes, this is very important. If you decide to leave town, you can leave their photos in a box at home and move to another city or state.
Dont burn or tear their photos -trust me you will regret that after you have moved on and have good memories about the relationship.
Just keep them out of sight or separate them from your photo album so you don’t accidentally see them.
Delete them from social media
Just like hiding your photos cause you don’t want them all in your space,you should delete them from your social media and stop receiving notifications from them.
If not it will be hard to get over them.
Make friends ,don’t jump into a new relationship
Instead of jumping into another relationship, make friends instead. Even though you are really hot and people want to date you, we both know you are not ready, so why put another person in that drama?
They will respect you if you are honest with them and tell them you are not looking for anything, that you just want to be friends instead of leading them on.
Start new hobbies or develop old ones
You know being in a relationship sometimes can take most of our time -I used to be that girl. Where i’ll just focus on my relationship and put my goals on hold on or spend so much time with them that i procrastinate a lot.
But it shouldn’t be this way;being in a healthy relationship should make you want to be better and inspire you to do and be whatever you want to be. Its shouldn’t hinder you or make you feel less of yourself.
I heard a relationship that didn’t last long but i felt like i could do anything. I felt like i could fly ,like anything is possible.
So focus on your hobbies or start a new one. Keep yourself occupied. Who knows your hobby could turn to a profitable business. Just keep your mind occupied.
Exercise is good for the body and mind. It helps with depression and you look good in the process.
Make it part of your daily routine and you would have something to focus on that you won’t even have the time to think about your ex.
Give it time
Yes,sometimes you might think of him/her. If you want to cry about it, go somewhere and cry your eyes out.
Write a letter to them that you will never send -this helped me a lot. You feel lighter after you do this. Writing helps me vent ,release my thoughts and gives me clarity . This could help you too.
Somedays you might feel like calling them, call your bestie instead. Calling them and they don’t pick,will only make you feel worse.
Surround yourself with positive family and friends.
I said positive because some family members can be really negative and you don’t want to be going through a heartache and confide in a negative friend or family.
You will just feel worse and even tempted to give your ex a call cause you don’t have joy in your home or people you can talk to that makes you feel better .
Have I gotten over my ex? No. But I have moved on. We had a good run, it wasn’t perfect but i was in love and it was a great feeling to have.
And because i love him, i want him to be happy and i want to be happy as well. Sometimes love alone is not enough to make a relationship work and i’m glad that i realized that and let him go.
I loved him and i can love again. We are not meant for one person. It takes two people to make a relationship work and if you are not getting that love and support ,you shouldn’t stay because you are scared you might never meet anyone like him or her.
Don’t regret the love you once had. It is a great feeling to love and be loved. If you both put in your best and its not working, you should move on. It is hard but its better now than to resent each other later.
Don’t try to get over your ex, just move on. There is no fast or slow way about it. Walk at your pace, everyone deals with things differently.